I recently posed a question on my Twitter and Facebook pages to a variety of youth ministers asking, “What things do you wish someone told you before you became a youth minister?” After receiving a variety of responses, it was evident that there were many recurring themes. For those of you who are thinking of becoming youth ministers, and even for some of you grizzly veterans who have seen one too many high school productions of “Grease,” here are 10 things I wish someone told me before I became a youth minister (with a little help from my friends):
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Above all else, you must pray.
In order to be a great youth minister, you must believe what you teach. Now, that seems pretty obvious, but it’s amazing how many of us can tell our teens about the importance of prayer and not take time to do it ourselves. Without prayer, our ministry points to us and not to God, and this is the biggest mistake we can make. We must be people of prayer first, not just for our ministries, but for our own hearts.
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Balance, balance, balance.
The most common response I received to this question was the phrase: “learn how to balance.” As youth ministers we not only have a responsibility to our ministry, we also have a responsibility to our own prayer life, family, friends, health, and more. So, get a calendar, a planner, or whatever it takes and setup a healthy schedule for your prayer, vocation, and ministry.
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It’s not about what you know. It’s about how you live.
This statement is not an excuse to be theologically ignorant. As youth ministers it is vital for us to continue to grow in our knowledge of the faith. With that said, it’s even more important that we live it. Imagine if I told you all about the beauty of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, but didn’t go on a regular basis. We must live out the faith we believe in no matter where we are or whom we’re with.
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Take a public speaking class.
Speaking of theology, we can have all the knowledge of the world about the Catholic faith, but if we don’t know how to communicate it, then how effective can we be? Being able to speak in front of groups of people is a major part of being a youth minister. While most of the time, our audience will be teens, there may be other times when it’s parents or other adults. Find some training in this area, whether at a local seminar, community college, or one of our Life Teen Training Conferences.
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Get to know the whole parish.
When we become youth ministers, it’s natural to think that the only people we need to connect with are teenagers. While this is the primary group we will minister to, it’s important to remember that youth ministry is one part of a larger parish vision. Get to know the people who go to Daily Mass; they can be your best prayer warriors. Befriend the parish secretary; she can be your best advocate. Above all, seek to develop relationships with the parishioners, and listen more than you talk.
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Dress for success.
As I travel around, I hear a lot of youth ministers say they want to be treated as a professional. If that’s the case, then the solution is simple: be professional, especially in the way you dress. Does this mean you have to wear a suit and tie or can never wear a t-shirt and shorts? No. But be sure to consider the situation and dress accordingly.
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It’s not about how cool you are. It’s about how you love.
Too many of us often feel like we have to know all the latest trends and slang in order to reach our teens. But quite honestly, the best way to minister to teens is to be yourself. God created you uniquely, and He called you to this because He wants you to use the gifts He’s placed inside of you to love the teens and lead them closer to Him. So, why do we spend so much time trying to be someone else? Teens can spot a fake, and trust me, they will remember you more for the ways that you loved them than they will if you know why someone named Snooki is famous.
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Confirmation is a Sacrament, not a crutch to hold up your Youth Ministry.
When you’re asked to lead Confirmation preparation for high school teens along with the overall youth ministry, it can be tempting to want to use Confirmation to increase your youth group numbers. Most of the time this is because you can make things mandatory for Confirmation (like attending a Life Night), but this can be a huge mistake. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t invite Confirmation candidates to participate in the overall Youth Ministry, but we need to be wary of making it mandatory.
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You will face a lot of rejection. Don’t give up.
If you like rejection, become a youth minister. I faced more rejection than Point Guards trying to shoot a basketball over Shaquille O’Neal. Teens will tell you they can’t come because they have too much homework, they have a basketball game, their parents won’t let them, or they just don’t want to. You will face rejection, but you can never give up. Keep building relationships. Keep inviting. You never know when they will finally say “yes.” After all, isn’t that what God does for us?
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It’s about getting their soul to heaven, not their body to a Life Night.
We spend way too much time focusing on the numbers of teens that come to events, whether it’s a Life Night, retreat, or something else. While we do desire them to be physically present, imagine what our Youth Ministry could look like if we cared even more for their souls. Instead of measuring numbers at a Life Night, begin looking at the numbers of teens who are attending Daily Mass, regularly seeking the Sacrament of Reconciliation, or spending time in prayer each day.
These are just 10 things I wish I knew before I became a youth minister. I can think of a lot more, and I’m sure you can too. So, what are they? Share them below. You never know how your comment could help a fellow youth minister.
10 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Became a Youth Minister: http://tinyurl.com/3hlh5xf
10 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Became a Youth Minister: http://t.co/4S075zt // great post!
10 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Became a Youth Minister: http://tinyurl.com/3hlh5xf
Confirmation candidates & youth ministry participation: "we need to be wary of making it mandatory" – @lt_ericporteous http://bit.ly/lcULyA
"Confirmation is a Sacrament, not a crutch to hold up your Youth Ministry." – @lt_ericporteous http://bit.ly/lcULyA
"It’s not about how cool you are. It’s about how you love." – @lt_ericporteous http://bit.ly/lcULyA
wow, a highly recommended article : http://www.catholicyouthministry.com/10-things-i-wish-someone-told-me-before-i-became-a-youth-minister/
10 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Became a Youth Minister http://fb.me/WLS4vs19
10 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Became a Youth Minister: http://t.co/YTKSjHn
Two things that immediately come to mind, the first one is get used to change, be flexible. Youth ministry is full of change. It can occur with the youth,the core, the LN, or a change in Pastor. As soon as you think things are running smoothly change occurs. Remember TRUST in God always, never lose sight that God is in control, not you. If God put you in this position to serve the youth, He will equip you with what ever you need to do his work. 2nd – When a teen comes to Life Teen, don’t assume you will see that teen next week, Always use each and every opportunity to draw that teen closer to Christ, never say I can talk to him or her next week. It may be the only time you get with that teen. Youth Ministry is such a blessing-keep prayerful and live your life for Christ, your example speaks louder than anything you will ever say!!
i'll translate this to my blog later RT @LifeTeen: 10 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Became a Youth Minister http://t.co/QTCtRvX
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I really enjoyed this article.
The best one is “It’s not about what you know, it’s about how you live.”
After many many youth group nights, you can quickly run out of things you “know” and get disheartened. Teens start saying “We’ve heard that story before…”
But it is all about how we live, and its more about the teen that comes up to you and says “Man, everything about you is so awesomely Catholic”.
Thank you Edmund. The beautiful thing is that the more we focus on living out the faith, the more likely we are to lead teens closer to Christ and not ourselves.
Hello Eric,
responding to #8: why is it not a good idea to require confirmation students to go to the youth group?
Kristina, great question. Obviously aspects of Confirmation need to be mandatory so that the teens can be properly formed when receiving the Sacrament. However, in my experience, requiring youth group as a part of the Confirmation process can be very detrimental to the youth group itself.
Most youth groups have teens that come voluntarily rather than out of requirement for something. With that said, when there are teens who “have” to be there because it’s mandatory, it can take away from the experience of the greater youth group, and the teens who “want” to be there. I experienced this firsthand when we required Life Nights as part of the Confirmation preparation process. Those who had to be at youth group because it was “mandatory” acted out, did not participate as much, and were a lot more difficult to deal with overall. (That’s not to say that all of them were that way, but many of them were). This lessened the experience for those who really wanted to be there and took away from the overall focus of the youth group.
Now, please keep in mind as I said in the blog, “I’m not saying that we shouldn’t invite Confirmation candidates to participate in the overall Youth Ministry, but we need to be wary of making it mandatory.” There’s a huge difference between someone responding to an invitation and someone going along with something because they are “forced” to be there. Ultimately, when responds with a “yes” to an invitation, their hearts are going to be more open and willing to participate and go deeper. When someone is doing something because it’s mandatory, they are more likely to go through the motions.
I hope this makes sense. If you need more clarification on these points, please comment back.
God Bless…
[...] The winning post goes to Eric Porteous from the Lifeteen blog in his post 10 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Became a Youth Minister. [...]
[...] blogs the other day and I came across this particular blog that I really liked. It’s called 10 things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Became a Youth Minister I would highly recommend anyone to read it, whether you’re already a youth minister or [...]
I just saw this post and was wondering what advice do you have for a senior in high school that wants to be a youth minister. I really think that’s what God is calling me to do but I’m pretty sure I would be horrible.
Alyssa,
Thank you so much for your comment. If God is calling you to do something, then He will ensure that you are equipped for the job. My first recommendation would be to continue to pray about whether or not God is calling you to be a youth minister. As a senior in high school, you’ve still got plenty of time to discern this.
I would also suggest talking to your current youth minister and/or any other youth minister you know about what it takes to be a youth minister. You may also want to talk with your priest.
Finally, as far as college goes, be sure to pray about what major would be good for you. Remember that majoring in youth ministry is really going to limit your options, and should you decide that it’s not for you, that could be a problem later. I believe it’s better to to major in something like business with a minor in communication or theology. Then you can always take Theology classes and go to youth ministry training conferences later on.
I hope this helps you out a little bit. May God bless you as you discern this call.
This is a very good article. You make it clear that we need to keep our eye on the prize, and that is the souls of the youth we minister to, #1-9 are all steps that lead us to better serve the youth.
Thanks for your reflection.
Pax et bonum,
Paul
Thank you so much Paul!