1. Be accountable. If you say you are going to email, email. If you say you are going to be somewhere, be there. And if you can’t – let them know ahead of time.
2. Follow-up. If we are asking our teens to do something or saying that we will do something, we need to follow-up with them about it. For example – if you challenge a teen to go to Confession, check back (whether in person or via email) to see if they did it.
3. Invite teens to go to Confession, daily Mass or a special event at the Church. These are great ways to build relationships.
4. Post “drop in” hours. You can stay for 10 minutes or 3 hours, but seeing your face in the teen center means a lot to them.
5. Find common interests. Finding things you have in common with the teens (books, sports, music, hobbies) gives you a foundation to build on.
6. Plays, sporting events, performances and concerts are all GREAT ways to be present and build relationships. We sometimes underestimate the value in this because a lot of times, we don’t get to talk to the teens at the actual event – but letting them know you were there the next time you see them goes farther than we realize.
7. Be present at Parish events. Go to some non-youth ministry events at the Church from time to time and you will be amazed at how many teens you will run into. Take advantage of this opportunity to say “hi.”
8. Host small group events. This can be either with your small group, or just with a group of teens who share a common interest. Xbox nights are a great example of this – but it can be as simple as sending a message inviting people to ice cream on a Sunday afternoon.
9. Go to a local sporting event together. This gives you a chance to hang out as a group and get to know each other, but takes the pressure off because you are doing something – not just staring at each other over a cup of coffee.
10. Visit them at work. If you know a teen works at Starbucks, McDonalds or a store you like, find out when they are going to be there and drop by! Even if you are only there for five minutes, you make an impact.

Yes, doing good relational ministry does add another item to your already packed agenda, but when it is done right and with the right spirit, it doesn’t have to be an overwhelming undertaking. The fruit that it will reap for your teens and your program are beyond measure.