I’ve never met a man who, when a training sequence or fight scene in any Rocky movie came on, flipped the channel or left the room. We know the outcome, yet we watch it anyway; we are men.

There’s something heroic in those scenes, something inherently masculine that transcends the musical score or the seemingly impossible feats of athleticism and strength (remember Rocky dragging that sled in the Siberian snow?).

The truth is that while my wife sits beside me and cheers for Rocky along with me, as a man I take something different from his story. It’s in Rocky’s internal strength, his refusal to stay down, his unyielding will and resilience to keep moving forward – against all odds and against far superior opponents – that I relate most to him not only as a man, but as a Christian, as a husband and father.

To begin at the beginning

It’s important to reflect upon why God created us with a specific and unique gender. It was not a matter of “chance” as some geneticists would like to believe. God did not “let fate decide” in some physiological, cosmic pinball machine of X- and Y-chromosomes. No, as Scripture affirms, God has a plan for each of us – a vocation – and our gender plays into that vocation.

As a man, it is imperative that I remember three things:

1. God created us in His image (Gen 1:26). We are created by Love to love.
2. God created us male and female (Gen 1:27) – and that difference is very good.
3. As a man, my role in God’s plan and God’s expectation of how I live out my call to love is uniquely different than that of a woman – equally challenging, but wholeheartedly different.

From the beginning of creation, God set man apart with a very specific purpose. In Genesis God gives us deep insight into His expectations of a man, with this commission:

“The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to till it and keep it” (Gen 2:15).

This English translation tells us very simply that Adam is to till and keep the garden. The original Hebrew translation gives us a far deeper understanding, however, of Adam’s role and, in essence, our role as men. The writer(s) of Genesis associate the function “to till and keep” with divine service, as well as with guardianship. In essence, Adam’s role was to protect and guard everything and everyone in the garden; this is the manner in which he served God most directly as a man.

Fulfilling your role as a Christian man

The truth of man’s vocation to love, through sacrifice and service, is seen throughout Sacred Scripture. We’re told how men, specifically, are to live, to serve, to multiply, to bless, to teach, to fight, to preach, to offer sacrifice, to protect, to work and to die for others.

Men are to be prayerful (Mt. 26:41), respectful (1 Pet. 3:7), trustworthy (Ex. 18:21), humble (Prov. 29:23), self-controlled (2 Tim. 1:7), noble (Phil. 4:8), honest (Acts 24:16), courageous (Js. 1:12-13), compassionate (Ps. 103:13), providential (1 Tim. 5:8), temperate and worthy of respect (Titus 2:2).

And all this happens by virtue of that chromosomal shift, right? Oh, if only it were that easy. No, becoming a true man in God’s image begins with surrendering to God’s grace, followed by embracing a heavy, splintered cross each day en route to greater virtue. Perhaps now would be a good time to consult the “Italian Stallion” himself, who reminded us that, “…life ain’t about how hard you can hit…it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward” (Rocky Balboa, 2006).

So, what are you – as a Christian man – doing to bolster your own prayer life? What is on your calendar this year to insure that you are putting yourself in the path of God’s grace and shouldering the virtue-driven crosses that are laid before you each day at home and at work? What is your “plan” to allow the Holy Spirit to wreck your best-laid, though imperfect, plans and redirect you, if necessary?

“Come away…and rest.” (Mk 6:31)

This March we are hosting the second annual Life Teen Men’s Retreat at Life Teen Camp Covecrest in North Georgia. It’s for any man – 18 and older – who wants to grow deeper in his Catholic manhood. It doesn’t matter if you’re married or single, old or young, a prayer warrior or a guy who doesn’t pray nearly enough…this retreat is for sinners who want to get more proactive about their sainthood.

This year’s retreat is being held March 23-25th and a handful of spots are still open. Join me and some of my brothers from the Life Teen Staff as we take an honest look at what it takes to live as a man of God these days, what we need to do and – most importantly – how to get there. This is the ultimate guys’ weekend…one that offers Confession during but won’t leave you needing to go after. I honestly cannot wait. You won’t believe some of the activities we’ve come up with. I’m excited about it already.

Brothers in Christ, I hope you’ll join us. (And to any of my sisters in Christ reading this…I hope you’ll encourage the men in your life to attend.)

It’s time to kick it up a notch, gentlemen. God is calling us into the desert this Lent, to be challenged, refined and strengthened – to become more than we currently are. Our families, our Church and this culture needs strong men willing to stand for truth, speak with boldness and serve in humility. In the words of Edmund Burke, “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”

May God bless you always and all ways.

And may blessed Rocky of Balboa, patron saint of the slow-motion knockout, pray for us!

By now, anyone who has, or who works closely with teens has undoubtedly heard about the “Why I hate religion but love Jesus” video that has gone viral on YouTube. Forgive me for not linking to it… my Mom taught me to keep gasoline away from matches (after my brothers and I almost launched our riding mower into outer space in 1982). Incidentally, my mother also taught me not to use the word “hate,” but that’s a different story for another day.

Hundreds of blog responses (and countless comments) have been posted about this video “assault” on organized religion. My inbox, Facebook page, and Twitter feed were lighting up nonstop for a couple of days with both teens and Youth Ministers who either loved or “hated” the video. While anyone with a true comprehension of ecclesiology or etymology can easily dismiss the video for its evident holes, many of our teens cannot. Millions have watched it and perceived that something “wasn’t quite right” about it. They were reaching out asking for advice on how to articulate to their friends, peers, teachers and, even, parents (in three correspondences) what exactly was wrong with the young man’s assertions.

It’s for that reason that I felt compelled to take a couple minutes to compose a few talking points for our Youth Ministers and Core Members out there, in case this comes up on Sunday, or in the days to come. This is in no way a complete treatise. You probably have a dozen things you’ll use to explain where the (hopefully well-intentioned) video diatribe against religion goes askew. Here are just a few “short answer” concepts and insights to insure that the conversation is pastoral and rooted not only in truth, but in love.

1. Ask questions before you give answers.

Many of the teens you talk to might have already publicly “liked” and shared the video. If you come out of the gate with the Catechism blazing, you’ve not only commented on the video but – in their minds – on them, as well. Ask questions like, “What is the purpose of this video? Why did these people go to the trouble of making it?” Allow them to answer. Honor each response; validate their answers even if you don’t agree with them – there will be time for you to correct, as needed.

2. Take time to point back to their answers.

If the purpose was to educate, it falls short since much of the content is taken out of context (which we’ll deal with momentarily). Was it to jolt Christians out of slothfulness? That could work with some. Was it to insult religions? Mission accomplished, (and you might follow with a question like) but isn’t it dangerous to equate “all religions” as equal and, thus, equally evil? Was it to get people to think and exchange ideas? It’s doing that (though not always lovingly). Was it a commentary, or just one man’s take? If yes, then it’s rooted in personal opinion and not in truth. Was the purpose to get people to love better? Is that happening or is it causing more conflict and division?

3. Point out the difference between intention and execution.

Someone can have a pure intention.The young man who made this seems to have a pure intention – to shake Christians who are slothful or hypocritical. Yes, Jesus pointed out the deadliness of hypocrisy, and yes hypocrisy still exists. Is that the fault of religion, however, when people choose self over God or over their brothers and sisters? Talk about how unloving many of the responses have been to the young man in the video, too. Have they (and others) begun by praying for those who don’t share their beliefs? Have they responded to others in love? While some of what is expressed in the video is praiseworthy (intention), are not other parts of the video causing countless souls to love less than more (execution)? Remind the teens that we are called to love even if we feel persecuted, and we are called to love even when we are angry.

4. Discuss where the video goes wrong.

Without encouraging others to watch the video over again and without taking a line-by-line walk through its catechetical holes, discuss where the video goes wrong.

Here are a few examples:

• It is a generalization about religion. Not every religion is equal and all religions cannot be underpinned as the same.
• Religion comes from an ancient word, translated in the Latin to religare meaning “bound together” (as in a relationship). Another derivative, religgio shares the same root as “ligaments” which connect body parts and offer the body stability. Religion connects the greater body, offering it stability and strength.
• It interchangeably uses the words “religion” and “church.” The rapper/poet is creating a false dichotomy, pitting two things against each other that simply aren’t. You can’t love the Church and hate religion. Religion is the lived expression of our Church’s beliefs. Christ perfected the Old Covenant in the New Covenant, which we live out in the Catholic faith (religion). It is through our “religion” (lived expression), that we encounter Christ most intimately and directly, particularly in the Sacraments.
• It charges that religions start wars, build huge churches instead of feeding the poor, tells divorced women they have no place, etc. People start wars. No one cares for the poor, forsaken ,or abandoned like the Catholic Church does. No other ecclesial entity smashes the alabaster jar of oil for Christ in her artwork or architecture like the Catholic Church does. One need only a cursory knowledge of the Catholic Church teaching to not only refute all of those claims but joyfully share the truth of “our religion’s” mission of love.
• It makes irresponsible assertions about Christ’s mission on earth and His general attitude toward religion, which not only lack proper context but also are anti-Scriptural.

  -If all that is necessary for our redemption was for Christ to die, He could have been slaughtered for our sins in Bethlehem as a child.

  -Why the three-year public mission?

  -Why the clear creation of the Prime Minister, Simon Peter? (Isiah 22, Matthew 16)

  -Why the apostolic charge, empowerment, training, and commissioning?

  -Anyone who says Christ didn’t come to create a Church has not read the same New Testament I have (see Acts of the Apostles for starters).

For Catholics, our “religion” is the living expression of how we interact with Christ through the Church He established.

5. Talk about the enormous popularity of the video and how many more people like it than dislike it.

But be sure to explain that it’s not because the video is saying something new; it’s not. This video is a micro example of macro problem, not “religion versus faith” but, rather, “opinion versus truth.” It’s another expression of the “I’m spiritual but not religious” vibe so blissfully shared but rarely researched. People fail to understand what religion really is (relationship), what it offers (intimacy), how that relationship should be measured (faith and works) and shared (invitation not condemnation). Someone saying they are “spiritual but not religious” is akin to saying “I like oxygen just not breathing.”

6. Study Philosophy First

This is a good example of why for centuries people were encouraged to study philosophy first. Philosophy doesn’t just teach us how to think, but also how to discern truth (from opinion). When personal opinion serves as the foundation, true theology cannot build upon it. In a YouTube video there is no accountability, no opportunity for a commentary or dialogue to point out the holes in the argument. It is not a summary of belief but a commentary on it. How many people watching, though, have enough philosophy, theology, or even history to adequately discern is the difference between truth, opinion, and emotion? That’s yet another way that the Church helps her children – sharing and safeguarding the truth that is rooted in Christ—not opinion rooted in the world.

7. Scripture and the Bible

Using Scripture to defend belief in Christ but not in His Church is like using Hamlet to say that Shakespeare doesn’t exist. The Church didn’t come out of the Bible; the Bible came out of the Church. It was the Catholic Church (a religion, by the way) that gave the Bible to the world. The Church existed long before the Bible and using the text to disprove the author doesn’t work. The Bible is at odds with sin not with religion.

8. Summarize Your Points

Summarizing your points is probably the most important part when discussing this hot topic. Are the points you make being made with love? Are you encouraging charitable dialogue or fueling angry debates by reactive or offhanded comments in person or online? Are you prepared to share your faith with joy (1 Peter 3:15) or bashfully avoiding the conversation, afraid to share your love for your religion and for Christ’s Church?

9. Evangelization is about Relationship

Pose the question, “What will win more souls for Christ? Taking a wide-scale swing at all religions and religious people or inviting a weary soul into that religion (relationship)?” History clearly demonstrates which is a more effective tool of evangelization.

In the end the video and any media, for that matter, are just tools. They are hammer and nails. Any Christian knows how much devastation and destruction a hammer and nails can rend in the wrong hands. Let us not forget, though, that a hammer and nails can also be used to build bridges… and, since we’re talking about words and their meanings, how beautifully ironic that the French word for bridge is “Pontiff.”

Perhaps what this generation needs is to stop watching YouTube so “religiously” and, instead, spend that time in Scripture (as the video suggests). After the Gospels, I’d suggest the Acts of the Apostles. It teaches followers how to live as a Church…as they work out their new religion and religious practices, known – in the early Church – as Christianity…Catholic Christianity, if you want to get specific.

Editor’s Note: This is an interview Mark did with the National Catholic Register prior to NCYC. Follow the link to read more!

What are your hopes for youth ministry?
I want to help change the perspective of teenagers. When teenagers get involved in their faith in a youth group or when they come to an event like this, they think that they’re seeking God. They think they’re going out of their way for God, but very seldom do they pause to realize that God is already at work. God is seeking them. What God desires from them is that encounter, that sacramental encounter, which really is rooted in intimacy.

And the National Catholic Youth Conference?
It’s very easy when we have an event of this magnitude for the young people to get swept away by the lights, the stage, the music. We need them to see that this is our version of a national World Youth Day, the universal Church coming together, and not just a Jesus pep rally. We need to meet them where they are, but then have them widen their perspective just a little bit in order to realize how significant it is that they are there. They have to realize that God wanted them there, and they need to see the greater Church, the mother Church, beyond their parish.

Read more: www.ncregister.com

I’m not the smartest guy on the block. God, in His mercy, is constantly reminding me of how little I know. He does this through marriage, parenthood, ministry, and, well, just about every facet of my life. I do know movies, however – at least I thought I did. So imagine my surprise several years back when I plopped down on our sofa for our “Family Movie Night” and ten minutes into the Disney classic Bambi I come to find out that Bambi is male.

I wish you could have seen the look on my face.

This fact shocked me! I’d never seen the film before but I was “certain” given the name’s feminine connotation, that little Bambi must have been a doe. I was stunned. How could this be? I felt like I’d been caught in the middle of some venison-induced charade. I began to wonder what other assumptions I’d made over the years that were likewise false.

Is professional wrestling fake? Does the President not write his own speeches? Is reality television not realistic? Was Charlie Sheen not just playing a character?

As the movie progressed I was struck not only by the story’s simplicity and purity but by the emotions it evoked in the hearts of my children. It didn’t have the insanely high-tech, CG effects of modern films. It didn’t have sassy dialogue or any recognizable star’s voices. It was slow moving and gentle, yet somehow it held the attention of even my two-year old. All my girls’ eyes were glued to the screen. And every one of them cuddled together tightly when (SPOILER ALERT) Bambi’s mother died.

Right about now you might be wondering why I’m blogging about this or what this has to do with ministry. I’m so glad (I’m assuming) that you asked.

Not long after my stunning revelation regarding Bambi’s gender, I came across an article about Walt Disney and one point, in particular, stood out to me. In November of 1938, following the commercial success of Snow White, the Disney brothers (Walt and Roy) bought their parents a mansion in North Hollywood. Several months later, however, an improperly installed furnace in the new home killed their mother, Flora, through carbon monoxide asphyxiation. The brothers were devastated and blamed themselves for the accident. It’s said that the tragedy stuck with Walt to such a deep level that he never spoke about it, not even to his own children.

Just under four years later, in August of 1942, the tale of Bambi – the little deer who lost his mother – hit the silver screen and became an instant classic. The timeless messages about life and death, family and friendships, and man versus nature are still touching young hearts generations later. Why? Because life and death matter and in Jesus Christ, suffering has a purpose.

I’d propose that Walt Disney shared more than a story or just another animated movie in 1942— he shared his cross. To what degree his own mother’s death influenced Bambi or any of his future projects, I don’t know.

What I do know is that everyone has a cross they bear. Some are more obvious than others. Some might seem heavier than others, but everybody is carrying one.

I’ve encountered many different kinds of people over my years serving in ministry. I used to be quick to judge, I’m ashamed to say. I used to unintentionally “weigh” others’ crosses against my own…believing that what I saw was all there was to them. The Holy Spirit has a funny way of broadening our perspective, if we let Him. Too many times in life I was so busy lamenting the pain of my personal cross (Lk 23:39) that I refused to seek Christ’s Mercy (Lk 23:42) or offer His Mercy to others (Lk 23:36).

I started doing something a year or two ago that has really helped me grow in both my prayer life and in compassion. Whenever I encounter someone – it could be a Staff Member, a colleague, a waiter or a disgruntled person I’m in line with – right when the conversation begins I say to myself, “Remember Mark, their cross is twice as heavy as yours is”. Since I began this little prayer exercise my prayer for others has grown immeasurably and my criticisms of them have dissipated significantly.

So Bambi and, by extension, Walt Disney – reminded me that things are not always how they appear to be on the surface. Every soul has a story, everybody carries a cross and everyone needs a Savior.

In reality, that’s the magic Kingdom – it’s the Kingdom of Heaven on earth.

I love The Karate Kid. There, I said it.

Hey, don’t judge! Remember Matthew 7:1.

I’ll say it again: I love The Karate Kid and, to be clear, I’m talking about the movie, not the person (nothing personal, Mr. Macchio – you were great). Additionally, I mean the original movie, not the remake with Jaden Smith (again, nothing personal, Jaden…you’re quite talented – love what you did with Bieber at the Grammys, little brother).

The movie changed my adolescent life. In the summer of 1984, every teenage boy I knew began practicing karate in their bedrooms in an effort to perfect “the crane technique.”

You could hear quotes like “Get him a body bag!” being tossed around the playground during impromptu martial arts competitions. I listened to the cassette tape with the song “You’re the Best Around” until it wore out … and then I made another one. Some guys even started tying bandanas around their heads. Luckily, I dodged that fashion bullet.

Wax On. Wax Off.

Reflecting on that magical summer recently, it occurred to me how many important ministry lessons can be drawn from the film.

So, here are ten quick ones (just to name a few):

1. Change can be difficult but is often rewarding
   Many in ministry get stuck in doing the same thing the same way; monotony is deadly in ministry. Most of the greatest things in Scripture happen after someone allows themselves to be moved. In the Karate Kid’s situation – it was Jersey to Cali. Are you moveable and malleable?
2. Everyone needs a sensei.
   More to the point, everyone should have a spiritual director. More than a mentor, a good spiritual director can help you navigate the spiritual life and achieve depths you never could on your own. Have you asked or given another the chance to guide you, spiritually?
3. A shower costume violates Diocesan safety standards. This one’s pretty obvious. No way an adult should ever attempt this. Safety first, people…
4. Discipline pays off.
   Normally in Youth Ministry the word “discipline” is applied to raucous teens. But what of Adults’ discipline in prayer, in diet, in Sabbath rest and in exercise? Wax the deck, paint the fence…or, get to daily Mass, crack open the Word, roll those rosary beads. Trust that disciplines pay off exponentially over time.
5. Don’t wear white in the kitchen.
   Remember when Daniel was spying on his girlfriend and the waiter doused him with spaghetti sauce? No spiritual lesson here, no loose allusion to Isaiah 1:18 – just be practical…if you’re going to hang out in a kitchen, go with dark colors.
6. Past relationships can hamper forward progression
   Anyone in Youth Ministry knows the drama that comes when teens in the Youth Group date and break up. What about when Youth Ministers or Core Members do? Take the high road. Deal with situations. Invite people to take breaks when necessary, if you do, it won’t be such a dramatic or “Cruel Summer.”
7. Make friends with the custodian.
   Let’s not forget that Mr. Miyagi was not just a karate guru, he was a true servant…he was the custodian. The sooner the church custodian feels loved by the Youth Ministry Team, the sooner others will get blamed for the T.V. cart being put back in the wrong closet.
8. Apologetics, like karate, is for defense only.
   Knowing the faith and sharing it are two different things. As Daniel’s mom reminded us, “Fighting doesn’t solve anything.” (“Neither do palm trees,” incidentally.) Hand on the faith to your teens but not an antagonistic spirit. Apologetics are supposed to bring communion not division.
9. “Enemy deserves no mercy” (is theologically inaccurate – Mt 5:44)
   Obviously the Cobra Kai learned the hard way that true power – and ultimate victory – comes by way of mercy not force. Is there anyone who considers you the enemy? Offer them mercy—it renders any opponent powerless.
10. “You’re the best around.”
    I love that song. It gets me pumped every time I hear it. Sincerely, though – you are great. You are a gift to the Church. You are doing heroic work in often times less than ideal situations. God is cheering you on – never forget that God doesn’t just love you, He likes you!

Remember these quick ten points and you’ll be hoisting that Championship trophy in no time!

I’m off to practice my crane technique.

• Five loaves and two fish… (Jn 6:9-13)
• A rib… (Gen 2:22)
• Five smooth stones… (1 Sam 17:40-52)
• The jawbone of an ass… (Jgs 15:15-17)
• A handful of flour and some oil in a jug… (1 Kgs 17:12-14)
• Spit… (Jn 9:6-11)
• A shadow… (Acts 5:15)

God has always been the Master of doing a lot with very little. He still is.

Recently a Youth Minister contacted me about bringing teens to our annual Life Teen Leadership Conference. He was wondering if it was worth the money since he only had three teens he was going to bring.

He wanted to know what it was going to cost, which is a valid question…but the wrong one. Prudence isn’t always about finding the right answer but about asking the right question.

I asked him, “Are you trying to figure out if it’s worth it to the parish or to God?”

When it comes to youth ministry it’s never an expense – it’s an investment.

Does it take some extra time and effort and money to get teens to events like camps, or Leadership Training, Mission Trips, or Youth Conferences? Of course it does. It takes sacrifice. It takes chasing teens down for permission slips and shaking the parish bushes to help raise funds.

Do these experiences of the larger Church – beyond the parish – give teens life-altering, soul-shaking, heart-changing encounters with Christ through the Sacraments, worship, activities and sessions? Absolutely they do and that’s why we offer them. It’s work for us, too – a lot of work, but that work in the vineyard pales in comparison to the fruit these experiences can bear.

• Is it worth the time to help three young souls encounter Christ in deep and profound way at a Leadership Conference? Yes. Those three souls can light a spiritual fire the likes of which the parish has never seen.
• Is it worth it for a half dozen teens to head off to camp for a week? Again, absolutely it is worth it. The experiences that teens have at camp are unrivaled on their faith journey.
• Is it worth it to take “only a carload” of teens to a Youth Conference when buses are pulling up in the parking lot? Yes! If you want your teens to have a powerful encounter of God it is worth it.

Loaves and fish, a rib, some spit…God doesn’t need much to radically change peoples’ lives forever.

We get in the way. We are the ones who “need to see the plan” before we take a step out in faith. Peter didn’t – yet he is often mocked for his “lack of faith.”

God needs only to hear our “yes” – our invitation for Him to exceed our wildest dreams. Don’t get stuck counting the cost…envision the rewards, the return on your investment.

Learn about summer events for teens and youth ministers. Brought to you by Life Teen and Edge.

Their shoulders slump from fatigue. Their eyes are bloodshot. Their stoles are a beautiful, albeit disgusting, blend of countless young souls’ tears and snot. It’s a not-too-uncommon sight in youth ministry, actually: priests sitting in persona Christi capitas, offering mercy and absolution to an endless line of adolescent sinners ardently desiring sainthood. The scene repeats itself at every parish retreat, summer camp, and youth rally. The odds are staggering, with priests hearing – on some weekends – literally hundreds of confessions in just a day or two. These courageous (and tired) souls are consistently “poured out like libations” in a manner that would make St. Paul proud (Phil. 2:17), often remaining on less-than-comfortable chairs for hours on end so that every last penitent has the opportunity to hear the words of freedom…the words of absolution.

After a cursory glance around the room during these events, many are quick to blame the “priest shortage” (which is really an irresponsible euphemism for what is really a “response shortage,” but let’s not digress). A more exacting evaluation would reveal a group of teens who have either not been offered the opportunity more frequently or, perhaps more to the point, who have not been invited into the Sacramental encounter since the last such retreat/event. The lines are long for a variety of reasons, but the ratio of teens to priests is not the fundamental problem; it’s a fruit, but not the root.

The Church needs more sin…to be preached and taught, so that we can be reconciled more regularly. Sin has not lost its luster; leaders have lost their muster, and that is one very deadly combination. Even in a suffering economy, the wages of sin remain the same: death (Rom. 6:23).

So why don’t leaders preach and teach more about sin?

I believe it’s rooted in fear. Sometimes leaders are afraid that preaching sin will push people away or “hurt” their numbers. Experience shows, however, that if done correctly, the result is just the opposite. Teens are dying for someone to draw a line in the sand. To quote Chesterton: “Morality, like art, begins with drawing a line somewhere.”

Teens want truth. Hell, everyone wants truth…especially the truth about hell, heaven, purgatory, and the lives that leads to all three. Teens aren’t stupid, and they’re not to be placated or pandered to. When we refuse to offer teens the raw truth, the hard truth – with love – we are not only shooting ourselves in the foot, we are shooting our youth ministry programs in the heart. At times, sin is even inadvertently empowered because the harsh realities about what living a moral life requires are watered down or, worse yet, never even offered.

God didn’t shy away from preaching on truth, sin, and consequence; He began in Eden and continued throughout Salvation History. Even Christ’s beloved Sermon on the Mount spoke more about Hell and the consequence of sin than any of His other discourses or (far more easy-to-remember) parables.

Teens – and adults – are being swallowed up and spit out by a secular humanist, morally relativist culture. People have forgotten a fundamental truth about sin: namely, that God did not give Adam and Eve the right to decide what was good and evil (subjective); in His mercy, He gave them the right to choose between good and evil (objective).

He was adamant. He was clear. He loved them (and us) enough not to leave anything in doubt. He explained the consequences (Gen. 2:17). Death would be the inevitable result of sin and disobedience. But this was not just any kind of death. This death would be the worst kind of death imaginable — spiritual death. The death God warned them about was the loss of His divine life animating their souls. Literally, in Hebrew (the original language of the Old Testament), God says that they would “die die” if they disobeyed. This was not an accident on the part of the writer. God did not have a stuttering problem. The word is repeated twice to emphasize the seriousness of the death that would result. This death wouldn’t be small or trivial. It wouldn’t even be merely physical. This death would be the worst of all deaths: it would be spiritual. God was telling Adam and Eve that to sin would be to commit spiritual suicide.

I think it’s important to remember (ourselves) and reinforce (to others) that the Greek word for “sin” used by St. Paul is the word “hamartia,” which means, “to miss the mark.” There is a very real sense in which sin is “missing,” or not meeting, the expectations God has set up. It is important that we emphasize the word “miss.” Although we often think of sin as being a “mark” or a “stain” on the soul, we need to remember that sin is not something. Evil has no substance to it. Rather, sin is the absence of something that should be present. It is the lack of the love and grace that we need to survive. Sin is really no thing — it is nothing where there should be something. It is the absence of God’s grace and love influencing our lives. We sin when we act in ways that are contrary to God’s truth and love.

Many teens tend to view sin as just a minor, insignificant thing. But sin is gripping. Sin is deadly. Sin enslaves. Through pride we became “slaves of sin”
(Romans 6:17) – slaves of death. It was our master. It reigned in our hearts. It mercilessly kept us captive, bound to death, away from the light. And it still does.

Here are a few practical questions to consider when evaluating whether or not your young people need to hear more about sin or not:

1. How often do you, as the leader, take advantage of the Sacrament of Reconciliation? The more grace is overflowing from you, the more others will be drawn to it themselves.
2. Are your Core Members frequenting the Sacrament? If not, why not? Most teens are intimidated to show up to Church and wait – alone – in line for Confession. This is a great chance to get some safe-environment-friendly, public relational ministry time by meeting and supporting one another while waiting to receive God’s grace. This isn’t killing two birds with one stone. This is bringing two dead birds back to life with one rock (of the Church – Mt. 16:18).
3. If there aren’t any teens in line for Confession on Saturday afternoons (or whenever you offer it at the parish), it’s time to reevaluate.
4. Do your teens know “what to say and do” when they get there? If not, are you putting resources like Come Clean in their hands to help them?
5. Do you try to offer Confession at least once a semester as part of a Life Night? Even if it takes extra scheduling further out in advance to secure priests, it’s worth it!
6. Do your teens understand the differences between venial and mortal sin? Encourage them to pray through CCC #1852-64, and then unpack it with them.
7. Do they understand why we go to a priest for the Sacrament (CCC #1461-67)?

People with no realization of sin have no “need” for a Savior. Or do they?

Sin is death. Christ is life. Preach it!

It was a typical summer day in Phoenix: omelets frying on the driveway, spit disintegrating into gaseous form the moment it left your mouth, dogs refusing to run or play for fear of spontaneously bursting into flames…you get the idea.

I was driving up the freeway for a lunch meeting when – BLAM! POP! (these words are much cooler if imagined in a comic book font and with some sound effects) – my rear tire exploded. Luckily, I was in the far left lane traveling at over 80 mph. Luckier still, it was about 116 degrees (and yes, I realize sarcasm can be a negative trait in youth ministry, but in this case I feel it accentuates my point quite nicely.)

My already bad day had immediately gotten worse. It was just “one of those weeks” in ministry where everything I did was wrong in someone’s eyes; I had a stack of annoyed emails to prove it. As if that weren’t enough, it was also the week that everything in our house broke almost simultaneously: dishwasher, garage door…even the coffee maker. Forget Murphy’s Law, this was straight up lunacy with a heavy side of spiritual attack.

I exited my car in dress pants and crisply-ironed dress shirt, removed the jack, and proceeded to change my tire whilst dodging the pebbles and other bits of assorted debris being kicked up at me by passers-by going much faster than 80. No one stopped to help – my only wish at that moment was that I’d been on my way down to Jericho (that’s a joke strictly for any Bible geeks out there – see Luke 10:30-37).

With sweat pouring down my face and my fingerprints now forever emblazoned upon the scalding hot tire iron, I quickly discovered that my spare would not last me long. I headed to the nearest tire shop to see what kind of a deal they would make me (translation: to see how many of the manager’s kids I would be buying braces for).

What happened next floored me.

This was no ordinary tire shop. The employees were having a blast. Though forced to work in an open-air garage in the dead of summer, the laughter of these men and women could be heard clear into the waiting room. A quick glance through the Plexiglas revealed that they weren’t messing around, either; no, this crew took their jobs – and having fun – very seriously. They flew around the garage, tossing tires to one another, racing one another with jacks and tire guns and cheering one another on as they went. Smiles beamed beneath the sweat and the grime – they looked like a family of Cheshire Cats wearing black face paint and safety goggles.

I was greeted promptly. They made eye contact. I was spoken to with respect. You would have thought my tire was on the President’s limo with how passionately and quickly they attended to it. They offered me bottled water. They made sure the temperature in the room was to the customers’ liking. They thanked us for our patronage. They communicated clearly and effectively to those waiting each and every time they emerged from the garage. They never once tried to “up-sell” me nor did they allow themselves to speak negatively or inappropriately at any time. This was a business that had been well coached and well managed; in fact, you wouldn’t have been able to pick out the manager, as he was out changing tires, too. He literally was not afraid to get his hands dirty. He just knew to wash them off before shaking my hand and thanking me for my business. Pardon the pun, but this place was a well-oiled machine.

Finding Our Joy

When life had done its best to suck the joy right out of me (and the air out of my tire), God handed me a bucket of joy and dared me to take a sip.

Is this the kind of experience teens and parents have with your parish youth ministry programs – or within any of your parish ministries, for that matter?

Many of those souls who come to you are often “having one of those weeks.” Are your ministries offering them an oasis of Living Water (John 7:37) or just a mirage?

Ask yourself these questions:

• Does the Core Team have fun? If not, why not?
• Do the teens coming feel welcome? Does the Core seem excited to see them?
• Is eye contact normal? Do Core Members speak to the teens with respect?
• Is there an effort to make the teens more comfortable in the (often) sterile parish environment?
• Is there any negativity in speech or action – even negative humor – on the part of the Core or youth minister?
• Is there clear communication as to what is going on in the night, making participants feel less awkward and more included?
• Are Core Members utilizing the smiles that God entrusted to them?
• Do the teens feel like you enjoy serving them?
• Is there a sense of urgency and importance about the topics you are discussing and the activities going on?
• Do the teens leave wanting to come back? Do they feel like you’d notice if they weren’t there?

God moved in a powerful way in my life that day. I need to learn to take James 1:2 more literally. Upon first glance, the entire ordeal was just the proverbial straw and my (camel) back was at its breaking point. A closer and more prayerful examination revealed to me that the Holy Spirit was very much at work.

Due to the location of my blowout, I just wandered into the closest tire center. It sits over 40 miles from my house. Based on my experience there, however, I guarantee you that the next time I’m in the market for new tires…I’m making the drive. Not only did they earn my repeat business, they earned my deep respect. I think next time I’ll even bring along members of my staff, too. This little tire shop taught me a lot about teamwork, service and the importance of finding the joy in what you do.

So the moral of the story is not to be afraid to ask these questions above – kick the tires of your ministry, if you will – before the wheels come off.

We have two great upcoming trainings / retreats for you to rediscover your joy and passion in ministry. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or need a little help getting back on track for another year, come to Camp Covecrest for our Life Teen (and Edge) Spring Training this March. Or think about bringing your entire ministry out for the Life Teen Training Convention this June in sunny Scottsdale, Arizona.

I’ve always liked the phrase “contrary to popular belief”. It gets your attention. It challenges your knowledge. What follows it can leave you feeling sheepish at your own ignorance or quite edified in your own intelligence.

For instance, contrary to popular belief…

Cleopatra was not Egyptian.
Ping Pong is not the name of the game.
Bats are not blind.
Noah did not take only two of every animal onto the ark.
The Wright brothers did not invent the first airplane.
West Virginia is not west of Virginia.
Moses climbed Mt. Sinai many times (seven to be exact).

Now, right now many of you are thinking, “Okay, great Mark. Thanks for the useless knowledge and for wasting the last 30 seconds of my life.”

Stick with me, here.

Traveling the globe doing ministry these past 15+ years, I’ve noticed a lot of – we’ll call them “trends” – in conversations with youth ministers. While some of what follows is bound to strike a chord (and probably a nerve) with some of you reading it, remember our primary goal: holiness. If our desire is to grow in holiness and improve the quality of the ministries we offer, we must constantly evaluate where we need to die to ourselves, our short-sightedness and our pride.

It’s impossible to put together one comprehensive list of popular mistruths and distorted perspectives in youth ministry circles, but I think there are some that are prevalent enough to mention. Generally speaking, I’ve found these to be true over the years. So here goes.

Contrary to popular belief in youth ministry:

1. Big numbers don’t mean you’re doing good youth ministry.

   Some parishes draw big groups strictly because of parish demographics, others because of the younger ministry programs feeding it. Still others pull numbers because there are no other viable or relevant ministries in neighboring parishes. Now, don’t get me wrong. Numbers can reveal things – like how you are doing in outreach, the quality of programming and if your evangelization efforts are effective. Strictly speaking, though, numbers tell you about bodies…not necessarily souls.

2. High school teens don’t just want to be entertained.

   Teens care about truth and living a moral life. They get enough entertainment – and it’s higher-budget and higher quality than a rural or suburban parish can compete with. If the Gospel bores a teen, that’s not God’s fault – it’s ours. How we communicate the truth — in its revelatory fullness — with passion and joy, refusing to water it down…that engages a young soul for the long haul.

3. Middle school teens are capable of amazing depth.

   Never sell middle-schoolers short. They might resemble sugared-up pinballs bouncing off the walls of the parish hall, but they can be still; they can pray! Never write them off as spiritually immature or shallow. They need to be engaged differently…but they do need to be engaged.

4. Diocesan Directors are not your enemy.

   These men and women are expected to serve the Bishop, every parish (with varying needs and existing support structures) and every youth minister and catechist in the diocese with little or no staff, budget or support. No, they’re not perfect, but neither are you. Offering to pray with them and asking how you can help will quickly change your perspective…and, often, your appreciation.

5. Core Teams need discipline, but not a disciplinarian.

   There’s usually at least one Core Member at every parish who believes it’s his role to be “the enforcer”. He’s the one who feels the need to be the disciplinarian of the group, ready to “lay the smack-down” on any teen that even remotely steps out of line. Part mall cop, part warden, these guys demand that the teens learn respect…without ever offering respect to the teens, first.

6. Youth ministry can work on a small budget.

   You don’t need a lot of money to do solid youth ministry; you need humble, prayerful hearts and a unified vision. The more people working toward a common goal, the more support will come. God doesn’t set you up to fail. He will pick up the tab. He pays for what He orders. Pray before you pay and God will reveal where to spend your money…or who to ask for more.

7. Parents should never be viewed as a problem.

   Read the Catechism #2223. If they are failing as primary catechists, then help them; don’t blame them. Trade in the lamentations for affirmations (of how challenging it is to raise holy teens in this culture)…and invitations (of how they can get more involved in what you are doing).

8. Just because a parish music group can make a CD doesn’t mean they should.

   The digital age has made it really easy to cut a CD, but having Garage Band doesn’t keep some music groups from sounding like a garage band (sorry if that sounded harsh but the point needs to be made). Often when the music ministry at a parish records their own CD, the line between prayer and performance can quickly blur. I’m not saying it should never happen, but if it’s something the Lord wills, He’ll make it happen. We can’t lose sight of the ministry aspect of the music. The group should be made up of souls who want to serve God invisibly…not (American) Idol-ically.

9. Fewer Core Members can be a good thing.

   Better to have a few dedicated souls than several warm bodies. Nothing causes interior division faster than when the minority sees themselves doing a majority of the work. If 30% of your Core does 90% of the work, do the math and challenge the rest to step up…or invite them to step down.

10. Bishops are smarter than people give them credit for.

    I love sharing a meal with Bishops – you really get to know the guy beneath the mitre. These are some of the funniest, holiest and smartest men I’ve met; and while I don’t always agree with what some of them say or do, not even our first Bishops were perfect (Mt. 26:45-56). Still, there is a grace that comes with that Apostolic office. Pray for your Bishop. Encourage your teens to pray for him. Trust in the Lord’s providence and the Church’s wisdom. God honors prayerful hearts…and obedient ones.

11. You’re not as bad at youth ministry as you fear (and you might not be as good as you think).

    The enemy wants you to feel ineffective, unsupported, overstressed and underpaid. While you might be any or all of these things at different times, you cannot let that spirit of fear dictate your ministry efforts. If you take in all the positive evaluations, you have to read all the bad ones too, so don’t read ‘em…it will leave you more time to read Scripture.

12. A parish cannot afford to go without youth ministry.

    Many people believe that parishes are dying for lack of young priests. A wider perspective reveals that parishes are dying, literally, because the young families are abandoning their cradle Catholic roots for nondenominational “fruit”. If we want God’s priests to hear His call, we have to have opportunities (youth ministry) for them to do so. Youth ministry is not an expense – it’s an investment. A parish that cuts this byline from its budget is draping the pall over itself…some might even say that to do so is “a-pall-ing.”

And finally, no, I don’t think I have all the answers. I have fallen into the trap on just about every one of these.

Contrary to popular belief…the one given the microphone or the blog is usually the one who doesn’t have all the answers but is open to asking the difficult questions.

Thank you for what you do for the Kingdom of God, which, contrary to popular (secular) belief, does exist on earth and is seen in His Church.