I was having one of those “Why am I a youth minister?” days when I got a text message from an old teen who now works as a high school youth minister.

“You are a good youth minister!” he typed to me.

When I asked him what he meant, he said, “I’ve learned so much from you. And now that I apply what you would do, I think, Man, he is good at what he does.” Hearing this from him warmed my heart, and then he added, “So many times I think ‘I guess Nick wasn’t as dumb as we all thought!’” That statement ended the warm fuzzy feeling.

But what he said has stuck with me because it was the “a-ha” moment we all long for yet rarely see. This young man’s knowledge and love of the Church often clashed with his stubborn personality to create abrasive situations. My decisions as a youth minister were not typically popular with him and his group of friends (who were very involved in the youth group). They saw things one way and I was usually the one to challenge those views. As I said to him that day when he affirmed my work, my goal isn’t to be everyone’s friend. I made decisions for our youth group based on what I felt best for the overall good, realizing it may not be understood until farther down the road, if at all.

Whether you are a middle or high school minister, our goal should not be to entertain kids for 90-minutes so they can go home and say, “Church is fun, the youth minister is really cool!” While we do want to be fun and engaging, we should do so in order to build “roots and wings.” We have a responsibility to affirm the Truth given to us by the Church, and instill these Truths in the lives of the youth. It is our hope that by doing so, we “integrate knowledge of the Catholic faith with the development of practical skills for living the Catholic faith in today’s world” (Renewing the Vision, USCCB). We must help today’s youth understand the teachings of the Catholic Church and enable them to share the Good News in modern society. In other words, we need to give them roots to be grounded in and wings to fly with.

Here are a few practical suggestions to help do just that:

1. Always be rooted in Christ. Colossians 2: 6-7 reminds us that, “As you received Christ Jesus the Lord, walk in him, rooted in him and built upon him and established in the faith as you were taught, abundant in Thanksgiving.” There will be decisions that you must make as a youth minister, ranging from “What camp should we go to for retreat?” to “Do we need to change anything in this Life Night?” Every decision is worthy of Christ’s presence; don’t be afraid to take them to prayer for a minute, day or even longer.
2. Don’t be afraid to challenge. My uncle likes to rattle my cage and bring up topics with me just to see what I say or believe. It may upset me at first, but it gets me to say what I believe and learn to defend it. Teach your teens and middle school youth to think about what they believe, and explain why they believe it. This gives them strength necessary to walk on their own without relying on you or the youth group to find answers.
3. Let them use their wings. Challenge the youth to take part in planning activities, service projects, even Life and Edge nights. They will offer their own perspective, as well as help you stay in touch with today’s youth culture. This will also teach them to make an investment in what they are part of, which can incline them to be more active in the community.
4. Be consistent. Middle and high school youth are physically, mentally, and spiritually changing at every moment. Be a consistent presence and always try to bring them to the foundation of our faith. If they build their lives from there, they learn to build from solid footing. Be a light “set on a lampstand, where it gives light to all in the house” (Matthew 5:15).

By creating good habits in your life, you become a witness to all who see you at work. Teens and Core will recognize that you will be honest and constructive with them simply because you’re learning to do so with yourself. So establish some roots and let those wings fly!