The people I am in closest relationship with are those people I have taken the time to find out the answer to one important question:

Where are they coming from?

In other words, who are they, what or who has formed them to be the person they are and what are the joys, goals and obstacles they are dealing with in their life right now? If you skip this step without finding out who the person really is, it will only keep your relationship at a surface level.

This is why just reading someone’s profile on Facebook doesn’t really let you know where a person is coming from. It’s why in youth ministry small groups will always play a key role in deepening relationships for teens. It’s why relational ministry is a vital component in the journey of leading teens closer to Christ. It’s often said that teens don’t care what you know until they know how much you care.

Think about it, do you spend time talking with people about how they are doing or what is going on in their life?

When’s the last time before diving into a conversation about some other issue, have you stopped and just asked someone what is happening in their life right now? What are they afraid of? What are they hopeful for? What intentions can you pray for them? Do you take the time to share where you are coming from with them? Think about the people you are closest to – they are probably the people you know the most about.

Who are the people you want to improve your relationship with? Start by finding out where they are coming from. You may just be surprised at how much you have been missing.