I spent my entire nine-year career as a youth minister as a single man. I know that’s hard to believe. I know you’re trying to comprehend this fact. And I know you’re all wondering how this good-looking, smart, funny man with a rockin’ cowlick could stay on the market for so long.
Well, my friends, it just goes to show you that anything is possible.
Now, while I did have a few girlfriends during that time, it wasn’t until after I left my role as a full-time youth minister that I got married. So, for those of you keeping score that means during my years as a youth minister, I did not have any kids of my own.
Oh but don’t worry. Thanks to the wonder that is the youth ministry stage, I got to hear about everyone else’s.
At conferences I listened to stories about how little Timmy went sleigh riding.
At XLTs, I was enchanted by the tales of baby Sophia’s trips to Target.
And at a rally, I even got to hear about how Mikey ate cereal for the first time, and believe it or not, he really did like it.
All of this was enough to make a single youth minister ponder, “You know, if I ever have kids I could instantly triple my amount of speaking material!”
But deep down it really boggled my mind.
Middle schoolers don’t have kids.
The overwhelming majority of high school teens don’t have children.
So, how do these stories relate?
Maybe it’s because we’re all God’s children.
Perhaps it has to do with being obedient to our Father.
Or maybe the love parents have for their kids is similar to the unconditional love God has for all of us.
As a parent of a 7-month old now, I can definitely say that last one is true. I’ll do anything to bring my son closer to Christ, and I hope that one day, there is a youth minister with enough guts to do the same.
That’s the story I want to tell.
Question: What’s your favorite story to tell in a talk to teens? (Share below.)
I was leery of telling stories about my kids to our teens until they started asking for them. One teen told me, “I love stories about your kids because we get the chance to see exactly what it means to have faith like a child.” Plus, authenticity is key in youth ministry, right? Well, the only thing that I’m doing these days is hanging with teens or with my kids…so authenticity means telling stories about teens or my kids
Amen. I think the “faith like a child” connection works very well for Youth Ministers with kids.
Great blog as usual Eric. I totally agree with you about this topic resonating with teens.
In fact, child-like faith is my favourite topic to speak about because of my own experiences with my 3 children. Mark 10.13-16 reminds us that we all must be “child-like” (and not “childish”) in our faith, and that whomever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it. Now that doesn’t mean that we should all start sucking our thumbs, wearing diapers, crawling around from place to place, and crying and whining until we get what we want. But God has set aside the Kingdom of God for the childlike…for those who are loving enough to trust and obey Him, and humble enough to depend on Him.
“Now that doesn’t mean that we should all start sucking our thumbs, wearing diapers, crawling around from place to place, and crying and whining until we get what we want.”
Clay, imagine what the world would look like if we did…
Thanks for the comment. Couldn’t agree more.
I don’t have any children of my own but I use my nephews. When we talk about the marriage vows I tell this story about him.
When my husband and I were getting married he was barely 2 and very non verbal. We were married in a large Cathedral but we didn’t have a mic when we declared our consent or gave our vows. My husband and I both have theatrical training so we used our stage voices so everyone could hear. After twice saying a loud resounding yes as we were declaring our consent the priest says “Will you accept children lovingly as a gift from God?” In the same voice we respond yes and he screams “NNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!” Without skipping a beat, the priest who is a former vocations director spins on his heels, looks at my sister in law and says “Have him talk to me in 16 years about the priesthood.”
The only regret that we have is that we don’t have it on tape.
Oh my gosh. That is so funny!
I remember when Bishop Olmsted first came to Phoenix and I attended a conference for youth ministers and he gave an address. I remember him saying that it is preferable that youth ministers be married. I didn’t understand at the time, since I also spent my first 6.5 years as a youth minister living the single life.
Now, I see that it is important to ministry because we are pushed to be selfless, but more importantly we have support to go home to. This time around, I talk about my kids all the time. I talk about my children’s struggles, I talk about my love for them as a parent, I talk about their faith like a child, I talk about how it makes me even less selfish and self-centered, I talk about their value of life and all of these things I connect to the teens and their experiences – even for those whose parents are lacking those principles.
One other big thing I’ve learned about having kids as a youth minister is they don’t allow me to work the 60-80 hours I used to. I have to balance.
An, I remember that too. So insightful. Thank you for sharing.