You’ve been running around all week doing your usual youth ministry duties: school visits, buying supplies, and fixing the receptionist’s computer by reinstalling her version of Windows ’95. (Because “tech support” was written into your job description three years ago).

You’ve only got a couple hours until youth group starts and you realize you forgot to buy food. With only $20 left in your budget and the need to feed 200 teens, as a youth minister, you know there’s only one item that can save you now: Red Vines.

What is it about Red Vines that we as youth ministers love so much? For me, it isn’t just about the taste, the low cost, or the Grand Canyon-sized bucket that can store enough sugar-packed tubes of glory to feed a small village. No.

The thing I love the most is that they seem to last forever. You can grab two fistfuls, go back to that tub in 2 hours, and the same exact amount of Red Vines will still be there calling your name. They are like the David Copperfield of low-budget candy.

On top of this, for most teenagers, they never seem to go bad. It doesn’t matter how stale they get. You can serve them on a retreat, tuck them away in your youth ministry shed next to your extra cans of Shasta for 6 months, and whip them out again the next time you forget snack because you spent too much time cleaning the floors after that shaving cream incident. And what would happen? Teens would devour them like they were a tasty filet mignon, although maybe with a few more chipped teeth.

So, Red Vines . . . today, we praise the Lord for thee. While we’ve been keeping you in business since you came into being, you’ve been saving our youth ministry budgets since PEZ raised their prices.

Question: What’s your favorite snack to feed teens at Youth Group?