I knew a youth minister who literally worked inside of a closet. Sure, it had been “renovated,” but it didn’t alter the fact that his ministry was based out of a “former” closet. It was the kind of closet that makes a person long for a cubicle; it still smelled like toilet bowl cleaner and that stuff you use to clean up tile floor when a kid tosses his cookies post-dodgeball game.
There was another youth minister I know who had no budget and not only had to fundraise money for her youth program, but for her own salary as well. In case you think you read that wrong, I’ll rephrase. She needed to ask people to give money to her youth ministry budget and to her salary. If she didn’t raise enough money, she took a pay cut.
And there was one other youth minister that got attacked by bears every time he walked into a parish staff meeting.
Seriously, he showed me the bite marks.
I heard all of these stories (well, the first two) at a gathering of youth ministers. It was a meeting I frequently attended and, without fail, after a half hour of small talk the stories began. Stories about how “nothing can get done at our parish because the priest just doesn’t care,” and that “parents stand in the way of everything we try to do.” Every meeting contained a laundry list of complaints. Eventually, I stopped going.
I think there is a difference between being supportive in ministry by sharing our struggles and brokenness in community, and old-fashioned complaining. A five-minute rant about how your diocesan director won’t return your calls and how the events she plans “suck,” is not a struggle. It’s gossip. It’s one thing to share how you are struggling with your pastor being supportive; it’s another to launch into a litany of misdeeds and wrongdoings you feel he has committed.
I’ve done my share of complaining. Whether it was after a staff meeting or a really bad youth night – I’ve whined with the best of them. But I’ve asked myself, “Why do we love to complain?”
Maybe it’s because we’re seeking affirmation that we aren’t alone, or because we feel like people will be more responsive if we share “bad news” rather than a “glory story.” Maybe we just want people to think, “What a courageous and strong individual. On top of a constant stream of hate e-mails, an unsupportive pastor, and no budget, he has to share an office with the parish’s new pet python. What a hero.”
I bet if we began affirming one another for small glory stories rather than using our gatherings as glorified forums for complaints, we would be a lot happier and excited for ministry. But I’ve never had to wrestle bears to get to a staff meeting – so I could be wrong about this whole thing.
Question:What is a glory story that you haven’t shared with someone yet?
A few weeks ago an extra spot came open for one of our upcoming summer events. I had very little time to fill the spot and was convicted that a certain teen should go. This teen had already turned down going to another summer event for one reason or another, so I knew I needed to be smart about how this was presented. I spoke to her mom and a friend who she, admittedly, looks to for spiritual advice and long story short, she’s going to camp this summer! It’s going to be a great summer
Sarah – that is so fantastic to hear. It is such a blessing when the Holy Spirit can work in such an awesome way.
I have an AWESOME & committed Core Team!
The blessing of a great Core Team can never be overstated. I’m glad to hear you have a committed and passionate team!
There’s an old saying about not judging before walking a mile in someone else’s shoes well you could also say don’t complain until you’ve walked in another youth ministers shoes! We started Lifeteen knowing we would all be unpaid volunteers with no budget except what we fundraise. Yet, when we need something parishioners open their hearts and their wallets to make it possible. The blessings from this ministry are priceless, after all the saints before us often evangelised with only the clothes on their back!
When we trust in God and throw ourselves completely on His providence it is amazing what can happen. Thank you for sharing!
God has blessed me and this ministry He’s called me to in such abundance that words can’t even begin to describe it…the biggest of which was the “closet office” I started out in 20 years ago. Many dear and close friendships began in that small space I shared with the brooms!!
Although it can be aggravating at the time – there is something kind of fun about the “closet office” and those first youth ministry years. So happy to hear you have been blessed by God with those great friendships.
I have great people around me. I am a music minister, and I started in my ministry working with a man who knows how to pray and lead people in prayer through music. I learned so much from his example in music/worship and being a man of God. He was my best man when I got married.
I moved to another parish in town 3 years ago as they started the Life Teen program. The pastor is an amazing shepard that understands youth ministry and contemporary music in Mass (he asks regularly for me to turn the drums UP). He hired a great YM from Mesa, AZ who has built an amazing community for the teens and in the core team in 3 years. He has been called back to AZ to serve at St Tim’s. I am so happy for him, but will miss him. The new YM that will start in July is another great missionary that I have known for a while with a lot of experience, and who has done talks at our retreats so the teens already know him.
That’s just the “leaders” – the core here and the teens are amazing. I am just amazed at the people God has put around me. I am constantly humbled at what He asks of me, but looking around, I can see the help He provides.
I love my “closet” office! I had all the teens sign the walls so it is nicely decorated. Plus, it makes a great confessional during Life Teen and EDGE for our priest.
[...] Unfortunately, I also spent a good portion of time doing things that didn’t matter, like complaining. [...]