What about those hard to reach teens who you have asked multiple times to attend events. Have you ever reached that point where it just didn’t seem worth it and you felt like you needed to do something more direct to try and draw them in? Last night while talking to one of our amazing youth ministers in Wisconsin, I heard a technique that is working big time and has yet to fail when the teen agrees and follows through. Let’s call it – 4 Times And I’ll Never Bother You Again Here’s how it
Let’s face it, there can be no less thankful role in parish ministry than the youth leader or coordinator. With comments from parents asking you to do more and preach less to parish staff members wondering what you do all day, it can be a thankless role. I really don’t know of many youth leaders who are doing this for the thanks, but with so many people at times questioning your every move it still can make a negative impact with your confidence. Here are 3 things if you do them for a week,
On a recent visit to a local coffee shop to meet with a youth ministry friend, I was amazed to count that there were 52 people in the shop at 2 pm. Of the 52 people only my friend and I were having a face to face conversation. All 50 other people were sipping coffee and looking at their digital screen of choice. A good number were not just looking at one screen but 2 screens at the same time. People wanted to be together, but not necessarily interact with each other. Screens have started to completely
If there is one leadership skill that makes leaders stand out, it’s their ability to “work a room” or simply to step outside themselves and acknowledge most if not all people wherever they are. Recently while visiting a parish I asked a teen how he got involved in Life Teen? He simply looked at me and said, “Tony, one of the Core team members came up to me at our school during a basketball game and just started talking to me. At the end of our short talk he invited me to come to Life Teen.
At first, I felt helpless. I felt so inadequate, certain that futzing with the finicky washing machine for my shift couldn’t do anything for these individuals. I felt like all I could do was to be there, and that being there wasn’t enough.
Then I realized that “being there” is the hallmark of relational ministry. Everything we do in youth ministry stems from building relationships by listening, sharing, and engaging in the lives of these teenagers. Before the ministry of planning a Life Night, of collecting permission slips for a retreat, of attending committee meetings, or of documenting Confirmation paperwork comes the ministry of presence.
Law of Audio / Visual – After you spend hours editing your latest video the bulb on the video projector decides it’s time to die or the audio feed decides it’s time not to work resulting in a silent film portrayal. Law of Gravity – Any banner, sign, decoration or prop we attempt to attach with duct tape, scotch tape or string will inevitably fall at the most inopportune moment of our retreat or session. Law of Probability – The probability of our pastor walking in is directly proportional
The past few months I have attended numerous youth leader gatherings and inevitably fall to the temptation to compare myself to those around me. I look at some of my peers and think “they look like a youth leader, they have the look that teens will think is cool.” I know I’m not supposed to compare, but being a Catholic youth leader can be one of the most inadequacy inducing roles you can ever take on in life. It brings out the brightest talents and the darkest most insecure parts in the best
Lastly, I learned the importance of paying attention to who is walking in the door. Middle school youth feel awkward in their own skin and walking into a room where they may or may not know anyone is terrifying. We need to be proactive about being present to every youth that walks in the door.
I paused for a second as the youth minister I was talking to blurted out – “I’m officially burned out.” She seemed almost embarrassed to be admitting it. I could tell by the dull stare on her face that she was struggling to find any joy in her ministry. I had seen the look before and over the past 24 years in youth ministry I have realized that there are two key things that anyone involved in youth ministry must do to avoid burnout and by the way they have nothing to do with a more balanced life or hiring an assistant.
All of a sudden between innings the song “Boyfriend” by Justin Bieber came over the loud speakers as I was sitting in the stands of a high school baseball game with a group of parents. By instinct I commented “Oh. it’s the Bieber!” I immediately drew the stares of my peers who quickly commented “you knew that’s Justin Bieber?” I replied – of course. The rolling eyes told me that while these parents may be my age, they may not be as keyed into the lives of middle school and high school aged