I work at a parish in South Florida that is located about 5 miles from the beach. It is sunny and warm year round and the dress attire of the parish usually reflects the weather. Recently, I was at a funeral at our parish and I looked around to discover that I have never seen so many people at a funeral in tropical shirts, shorts and flip-flops!

The dress of the teens in our youth group usually reflects the warm weather as well – but in a different way. Let’s just say that I frequently want to walk around and hand apples to the teenage girls in our youth group. Why? Because when Eve ate of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, she realized she was naked. It is no secret in our youth culture that teenagers dress and act immodestly. The manner in which a person speaks and dresses sends a message. As Christians, our language – both spoken and unspoken – needs to lead others to Christ. Immodesty does just the opposite – it leads others to scandal and sin.

In spite of the frequent problem of immodesty in youth culture, many youth ministers and Core members are afraid to correct teenagers. In my first year as a youth minister, I watched as a youth lector proclaimed the Word of God at Youth Mass in a tank top and a tight mini-skirt. I approached the coordinator of Youth Lectors and asked her why she did not have a stricter dress code for Liturgical Ministry. She replied that she did not want to offend any teenagers for fear of losing them. And that is the problem. Sometimes we measure success in youth ministry by how many teenagers we can get into the doors of the Church instead of measuring success by how many teenagers we are forming to be saints. It is true that we do not want to offend teenagers and push them away, but we do not have to sacrifice the truth of the Gospel either. Teenagers will respond to truth; they will respond to high standards. We simply have to have the courage to call them on to holiness.

Here are some practical tips when addressing teenager immodesty:

• Do not be afraid. Truth brings freedom. Teenagers will not hate you if you call them on to holiness.
• Set a dress code as often as possible and stick to it. You cannot set a dress code for teens attending Life Nights, but you can for retreats, mission trips, leadership positions, and Liturgical ministries. Make sure that teens are familiar with the dress code beforehand and then stick to it. If they are not dressed appropriately, they should not participate. A teenager may give you a hard time at first, but they will surrender, especially if there is a dress code policy.
• Be pastoral when addressing the issue. Calling someone onto holiness should be done in the context of a relationship. No one responds to scolding or preaching. Be pastoral and friendly.
• When it comes to immodest dress, try to avoid co-ed correction. If I have to address a teenage girl in regards to a short skirt, I generally ask a female Core member to do it for me. Even though my intentions are pure, I do not want to put myself in a situation where a teenage girl accuses me of looking at her inappropriately.
• Avoid correcting a teen in front of their friends. Teenagers do not like to be embarrassed. Instead of making them an example, pull the teenager aside and address the teen one-on-one.
• Remember that good relational ministry is the key to addressing immodesty. If a teenager is a leader in your youth group, correcting immodesty is appropriate. If a teenager is new to Life Teen, picking on their choice of clothes is not the best way to lead them to Christ. Get to know a teenager for awhile and use your relationship to call that teen on to holiness. Forming teenagers in sainthood requires patience.

Editors Note: For more help in addressing immodesty, use our Life Night called “Torn Apart – Modest is the Hottest”